random

I got to see a sneak peak of Nick and Norah's Infiniate Playlist and it was amazing. Michael Cera and I will have beautiful, awkward children together.

Im still sick, well I have an annoying cough. Maybe I should stop smoking.

I miss Drew, I know its stupid but I do. I walk around downtown every night with Katie (its just something we decided to do) and I always hope that Im going to run into him. I just want to say "Hi" and see how things are. But I know the more I think about seeing I won't. It sucks.

I hate being lied to. Even though Sarah and I have started talking again I still dont think things will go back to being that way they were. Not for a while at least.

Katie and I were at Hollywood Cementary the other night and we were just talking about life and everything at has happened in the past year. Katie started crying and yeah I felt bad but I didn't feel anything. Im not happy but Im not sad. I don't cry anymore even when I think about horrible things, I get nothing. Im just numb. I would give anything to feel even if its pain just to know that I can feel again, that I haven't lost emotions. To be normal. Human.

I have an eating disorder. I probably shouldn't be so open about it but its not a secret everyone arounds me know. Its not a matter of thinking Im fat its more of I have no control over anything in my life anymore so I control what I eat. I know I need to go get help. But I am seriously flat broke. I have no gas in my car. No money in my account. I own the city money for those damn parking tickets... ugh.

later.