Well I lost the internet but not I have it back. So here is an update on my life.
My mother has been diagnois with breast cancer. We don't know too much right now, we are waiting. Im keeping a postive outlook on it.
I don't have a car anymore because I got in a wreck and totaled my car. So I feellike im 15 again when I have to ask to use my dad's car and be dropped off and picked up from work.
Work is going well. Im starting to apply color on clients Im also learning blow drying techniques. I will begin cutting very soon. I brought a shear set, its awesome.
I rearranged my room and added new furniture, so now it's even more girly than before.
Really not much going on, taking one day at a time.
Later.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Monday, October 6, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
random
I got to see a sneak peak of Nick and Norah's Infiniate Playlist and it was amazing. Michael Cera and I will have beautiful, awkward children together.
Im still sick, well I have an annoying cough. Maybe I should stop smoking.
I miss Drew, I know its stupid but I do. I walk around downtown every night with Katie (its just something we decided to do) and I always hope that Im going to run into him. I just want to say "Hi" and see how things are. But I know the more I think about seeing I won't. It sucks.
I hate being lied to. Even though Sarah and I have started talking again I still dont think things will go back to being that way they were. Not for a while at least.
Katie and I were at Hollywood Cementary the other night and we were just talking about life and everything at has happened in the past year. Katie started crying and yeah I felt bad but I didn't feel anything. Im not happy but Im not sad. I don't cry anymore even when I think about horrible things, I get nothing. Im just numb. I would give anything to feel even if its pain just to know that I can feel again, that I haven't lost emotions. To be normal. Human.
I have an eating disorder. I probably shouldn't be so open about it but its not a secret everyone arounds me know. Its not a matter of thinking Im fat its more of I have no control over anything in my life anymore so I control what I eat. I know I need to go get help. But I am seriously flat broke. I have no gas in my car. No money in my account. I own the city money for those damn parking tickets... ugh.
later.
Im still sick, well I have an annoying cough. Maybe I should stop smoking.
I miss Drew, I know its stupid but I do. I walk around downtown every night with Katie (its just something we decided to do) and I always hope that Im going to run into him. I just want to say "Hi" and see how things are. But I know the more I think about seeing I won't. It sucks.
I hate being lied to. Even though Sarah and I have started talking again I still dont think things will go back to being that way they were. Not for a while at least.
Katie and I were at Hollywood Cementary the other night and we were just talking about life and everything at has happened in the past year. Katie started crying and yeah I felt bad but I didn't feel anything. Im not happy but Im not sad. I don't cry anymore even when I think about horrible things, I get nothing. Im just numb. I would give anything to feel even if its pain just to know that I can feel again, that I haven't lost emotions. To be normal. Human.
I have an eating disorder. I probably shouldn't be so open about it but its not a secret everyone arounds me know. Its not a matter of thinking Im fat its more of I have no control over anything in my life anymore so I control what I eat. I know I need to go get help. But I am seriously flat broke. I have no gas in my car. No money in my account. I own the city money for those damn parking tickets... ugh.
later.
Friday, September 26, 2008
changes
Being sick blows. Being broke blows even harder.
Sarah left me a 4 page note on my car the other day. It just said things about missing me and that I was being lied to by someone and not to trust them. Well frankly I don't trust anyone, not even my best friend. It's sad to say that but its true. How can I ? After all the bullshit I've been through this fucking year I'm surprise I haven't tried to kill someone or even myself. No that's wrong to say, I would never kill myself over stupid shit.
It's been a long year and I haven't gotten a break yet but I've done some pretty fucked up shit so maybe this is my karma. Maybe I have no one because I need to make myself happy before someone else can. Who knows?
I've been smoking like crazy lately, which isn't like me. I guess I'm stressed but that's no excuse. It's probably why I'm not getting any better. My sleep schedule is all over the place. I need to get my shit together.
I'm moving out in January with Katie. I wanted Britt to come to but her money situation isn't that great, which I understand. I look forward to it. My dad is gonna flipped but whatever.
later.
Sarah left me a 4 page note on my car the other day. It just said things about missing me and that I was being lied to by someone and not to trust them. Well frankly I don't trust anyone, not even my best friend. It's sad to say that but its true. How can I ? After all the bullshit I've been through this fucking year I'm surprise I haven't tried to kill someone or even myself. No that's wrong to say, I would never kill myself over stupid shit.
It's been a long year and I haven't gotten a break yet but I've done some pretty fucked up shit so maybe this is my karma. Maybe I have no one because I need to make myself happy before someone else can. Who knows?
I've been smoking like crazy lately, which isn't like me. I guess I'm stressed but that's no excuse. It's probably why I'm not getting any better. My sleep schedule is all over the place. I need to get my shit together.
I'm moving out in January with Katie. I wanted Britt to come to but her money situation isn't that great, which I understand. I look forward to it. My dad is gonna flipped but whatever.
later.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
ugh
i dont why i have this thing. guess im sick of my sitdiary and i dont like to blog on myspace.
anyway. boys are retarded.... or maybe its me. i think there is something wrong with me. maybe im the retarded one. i dont know, im just confused thats all.
ive lost my best friend. im kinda happy there seems to be less stress in my life but at times i miss her but i cant get over what she did. its probably for the best.
im sick of driving with katie to random places with creepy people. its annoying.
whatever.
i want stability.
anyway. boys are retarded.... or maybe its me. i think there is something wrong with me. maybe im the retarded one. i dont know, im just confused thats all.
ive lost my best friend. im kinda happy there seems to be less stress in my life but at times i miss her but i cant get over what she did. its probably for the best.
im sick of driving with katie to random places with creepy people. its annoying.
whatever.
i want stability.
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